About a day after the surgery, I could feel and move my arm again. When I came home, all of the nerves were still blocked so it took a while for them to come back, and when they did, it was the weirdest thing ever. First my shoulder came back, then my bicep and forearm, then my fingers came back slowly, one at a time. Now I can completely move and feel my arm, and I have been taking medicine to help the pain, which can be annoying at times when I have to wake up at two in the morning to take more, so I will not wake up in pain.
The weirdest day of all was the day I got back from the hospital. I was completely out of it. The surgery had just completely taken everything out of me. I was glad that I did not need general anesthesia because then I would have been sick, but the nerve block was defintly weird. I remember returning to some friends and family at home. Some of whom gave me balloons, but I was in no mood to really do anything. I remember sleeping for like the whole day and they day after.
The surgery happened the other day, and now I am just at my house recovering. I drove to the hospital at around six thirty in the morning, was prepped and then met with the anesthesiologist, who put an I.V. in my arm and then gave me some medicine to calm me down. I vividly remember my hands shaking because I was nervous and then they stopped once the medicine was in me. Next he stuck a huge needle in my shoulder and squirted stuff into the nerves to block them out, he showed me an ultrasound of it which was incredibly cool. The next thing I knew I was being wheeled into the operating room and when the surgeon picked up my arm and put it on a table I felt nothing. I woke up in a bed a little later, sawing weird things, then I drifted in and out of sleep. When I woke up again, I moved to a chair and ate some food, then they took the I.V. out, helped me walk around a little bit and sent me home.
I have finally returned from North Carolina and my surgery is tomorrow and as the days have passed I have gotten more and more nervous. But today something helped, and that something, was just talking to people about it. I talked to Mr. Star, and Mr. Sharon, and something about just talking about how I was feeling and what surgery would be like calmed me down.
It has been a weekend filled with mixed emotions of sadness and nervousness. I flew to North Carolina with my family to commemorate my grandfather, who had passed away about a month ago. Flying down to North Carolina and spending time with my grandmother and cousins just did not feel the same, there was a certain emptiness, a feeling that which I can not explain. There is so much more that I could have possibly written about my grandfather, but at this time, not much comes to my mind. It would make a good journal entry in a little while, but not now.
There are only a couple more days until my surgery and not going to lie, I am kind of freaking out, I have never had surgery before and the whole idea of getting put to sleep and operated on just freaks me out. It is a very cool processes but scary as well, when I return from north Carolina I will have a day of school and then the surgery will occur.
It seems that things have taken a turn for the worst, just before I was going to get back, and the day I was elected captain of the varsity hockey team, I re-break my hand through the cast and now the doctor says that it will require surgery to fix. Also I will be out for six to eight more weeks. More hockey that I will not enjoy missing.
Many things have been going on in my life recently. I have broken my hand, and will be out for around three to for weeks, which isn't to bad for now. But, what I am angry about is how I will be missing many precious days on the ice, which I cannot afford. It is very hard to just watch the games and practices. I feel like I am loosing very valuable time on the ice.
This is my first daily post. It has been astonishing how much snow we have had in the past couple weeks. It has been record breaking, and there is more to come. In these daily posts, I will be writing for a little bit about things that have happened, or that are important to me. I am looking forward to these posts because they get me writing every day, and I find that the more I write, the better I get at writing. So, here are my daily journal entries.
After reading and writing more and more of poetry, it has grown on me in a way. First hearing slam poetry I was skeptical, but after writing my own I learned that it was actually kind of fun and that it can carry a lot of meaning with it as well. Its is like Fitz says, if you can carve wood, you will be a good woodworker, and if you can write poetry you will become a good writer. But something I learned is that poetry does not just come in a blink of an eye, you have to learn how to form it. For me it is just studying poetry and then just write down whatever comes to mind and then edit it. If I wait to long thinking about what I am going to write I will never find something that I like. Overall, I have really enjoyed reading, writing, and learning more about poetry, like I said before I was skeptical about it in the beginning but now it is quite enjoyable, even though I may not be a very good poet right now, Im sure with more work the poetry will start to come to my mind and flow easier.
Underneath are some of my first poems of the year, there is nothing very special about them and they are not that great but here they are:
Poetry is art
Art requires work
The problem is getting poetry for work
No matter how hard I try
No matter how hard I think
No matter how hard I wish
The words just don't fit
I wish they could just fall into place, like the last pieces on a puzzle
But poetry is more like solving a rubix cube that fights back.
If only the word would flow like a river
But also be symbolic like a statue
It feels like the less I fight
The easier it comes
White blankets coming down in waves
The blankets fall together flake by flake
Inch by inch, blanket by blanket
Until finally the blankets coat over everything in sight
A world embraced in white
Ten thousand voices, roaring like a lion pride
Calling your name as you take your first steps into a new dimension
You step out, lights flashing
Blades slashing through the fresh ice like hot knives through butter
No words are uttered until the drop
It is the first of many, your destiny
You blink once and take it all in
It is now your time to turn into a different type of man
Ravaging throughout the ice like a bear going through garbage
You are now an animal, bound to the game
Hunting down and pursuing others
Grinding out work
Finessing through others
Graceful but at the same time savage like
The question is not how many do you think I can do
Its is how many am I going to do
Some people say its crazy, for others its a lifestyle
The little voice within their head pushing them just to do, one more
Not being satisfied until they do one more
Not returning home until they have done one more
Things ache, and things get tougher towards the end of them
But what builds you is not the first couple things you do, it is the last
Sometimes the last thing you do can be what you are remembered by
One more, may be insane, but it just might but the difference maker between good, and great.
And maybe listening to that little voice in your head that just keeps screaming one more
Like an owl screeching isn't so insane in the long run.